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The Journey


I write from the observer – no linear time – no construction – it will throw the ordered into turmoil


This story is about my journey to “The Other Me”.
Everything I ever knew to be would change forever.
I regained my ‘sight’ the sight I didn’t know was lost.
I didn’t know my life would go in the opposite direction to where it was headed. I hadn’t planned for any twists in fate.
I lived a ‘normal’ existence and it didn’t involve anything that was out of this world.
The day my life came to a halt, as I knew it, was a day for rejoicing. I had connected to a force that was outside of mans logic and reasoning. I had come face to face with a part of me that I had not known before. I knew what I was experiencing was real but my thoughts were trying to make sense of it all.
The day my life changed was like any other day. It was the beginning of what was to come over the next 7 years and is still coming.
There is many a book in me to be written, yet I don’t know what they are.
As I write this introduction it is not clear what this book will be about but this is the way it has been since the year 2000.
The words are put in my lap and it is up to me to deliver them.
My life before, revolved around family and friends, it was a life that I didn’t complain too much about, it had its ups and downs like any other life.
I have wondered over the years why me, why was I chosen to be the one. I have been told by the ones who I endearingly refer to as “upstairs” (the Universe) the reasons why. So, who am I to question what ‘upstairs’ has to say about things I know naught about. But don’t worry I have questioned ‘Upstairs’ many a time over the years and many times I said that I didn’t want the job but it didn’t make any difference, I’ve still got it.
The soul purpose for putting this book out is to inform, as it is for you. I have come to realize over the years that I wasn’t given this information to keep it quite, what would be the point of that.


Up to the year 2000 I was an artist, that’s where my passion lay. I don’t paint anymore. I write. That’s what I do now. I didn’t before. Everyday there are words tumbling around inside my head waiting to be freed. They may not end up on the paper but they will invariably lead me to the computer where they can be released from the part of me that knows. You will come to know that part of me during this journey and the process I had to go through, ultimately, in order to connect with my soul.
My soul speaks to me everyday. I can hear it now. I wouldn’t have thought that possible in my other life, as I didn’t give it a chance to be heard. My soul has my best interest at heart. It lets me learn my lessons so that when I do 'see' I won’t have to keep doing the same thing over and over again.
Everyday since the year 2000, give or take, I have documented my journey. The struggle to freedom came at a price to the earthly self but as I was to find out that was how it needed to be.


What was in me that allowed the BEING to be the one to survive? Before I knew I was on a journey I was only concerned with my will to survive as a human being– it was only natural after all. But now that I know of my TRUE identity – I know that it will surpass my will to live as a human being.
At what point does the human being realise it is really a Universal Being.
The Universal Being is not to be sacrificed but it is the human self that will make the sacrifices in order for the Being to emerge.
There have been times along this journey that I didn’t want to know the Being in me, anymore. I didn’t want to know what I was doing, not doing and not seeing.
When you start losing yourself and finding yourself at the same time what you are confronted with is the truth. I tried to distort that truth in order for me to survive as a human being. To strip bare how you think and perceive is difficult if you have been telling yourself the same story in order to survive in the world.
When you deal with truth regarding the human being it will always be subjective, as the learned inherent side already has leanings to how it thinks. When you deal with the universe there is no leaning to anything. I quickly found that out when we were introduced.
I first met the universe when it came through me in the way of automatic drawing. That was OK – there were no sacrifices to be made in me at that point. I was reveling in the experience. I felt a force come through me that didn’t belong to the human side of me. I had no knowledge of any such force before. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I encountered something not of this earth. It lit me up. I had experienced a miracle. I had painted all my life and had never experienced anything so encompassing.
Since that time, since the year 2000, so much Universal water has passed under the bridge.
I have already written this story a number of times and it’s not because I am making a conscious choice to do it more than once, but because I made a choice to sit down at the computer and write. Just like the automatic drawings all those years ago – I just made the choice to pick up the pen and paper and the rest just followed.
The Being in me knows – the Being in me shows up when I make the choice to write. Yes, there is still the human being in me that doesn’t have a clue what the Universal Being is up to or directing me to do. I don’t fight it like I used to.
Once upon a time it was an uphill battle to want to even write, as usually the writings would bring up things in me – things that I needed to face within myself.
I had to get rid of the illusion I was under about myself in order to write unimpeded. My life back then was as a mother, wife and a painter.
Back then there was no recognition of the Being in me. I had no idea that there was another part of me that existed. I saw the universe as something separate from me – not part of me. I had no idea that there was another part of me just waiting in the wings to be recognised.
Now that I know, what I know, I can say that searching to find one’s self can only be done from a physical platform.
When the human self tries to find itself, it can only be done with a 3D or earthly thinking process.
There is no judgment in that statement, it is a Universal truth.
The physical self has to be clouded and veiled with perceptions about itself because that it how it has been taught to see – it can be no other way.
I didn’t know the Universal Being in me existed until 2 months after I had done my first drawing. I had had a past life done. I met the Being in me in that past life session. That Being has changed my life profoundly from the very moment I laid eyes upon the tall figure in the blue robe. From that day onward we began a connection that far outweighed any earthly connection I had ever known. I had been awoken to another part of me that existed in a Universal realm. The story of that encounter is the reason I do what I do.
We are all on a 'blind journey' until something changes within us. You will only see when you are ready to see. This I is came to know without question.


I know how it feels to live as two people. This is the crux of it. I live as two people and not as one. I feel for the people who ‘come out’ as it were, as they are forced in a way to expose that in them so they can live freely within themselves within that society. It doesn’t stop what is going to land in their lap when they expose that part of them but at least they have the courage to do it, ultimately for themselves. How hard that must be. In a way I envy them as they have people around them who are going through the same torment and they are supported by the ones that have gone before.

Living as one person with one identity was easy - I didn’t know any better, I just accepted my lot in life. Living with two identities is a whole other story. Up to the year 2000 it was just me. In the year 2000 I met the other me, the one who lives a totally different existence to me. She knows things, she sees things, she writes, she exposes things in me, she makes me look at things and she makes things hard.

There were times I wish I hadn’t met her.
We live in the same house. We eat the same food. We do the same things. Before the year 2000, I was just me - my thoughts were my thoughts. Now my thoughts are hers.
I will let you in on a secret. There are two of us writing this story. But the words are mine.


I had to choose which one of us would survive.
The choice had to be made at ground level.
She had to decide before her time was up and I knew when that was.
I knew of the life I would be living – the contract stated it clearly.
Only I knew of the conditions and it would be up to me to see to it that she didn’t know of my involvement until the time was right and she was ready to except the terms.


The book has been opened on my life.
I have seen the chapter where I came on board. There have been times throughout this journey I wished I could have closed the book and not know what I know, but it’s too late. I could never go back. I knew too much.
I didn’t have to see my life ‘flash before my eyes’ in order to change the direction that my life was headed. It was already there in black and white.
How do you know which day will be day that changes everything. You don’t. There were indications the night before – but how could I have known for sure.


How do you explain the journey to someone else?
How do you express what lives within the walls of the self to someone else?
How do you start to understand this process when you are living and breathing it each minute?
It’s a journey that whispers to you along the way and you have to hear the whispers and be able to catch them when they have been uttered in the most silent of ways.
To live in the shadows of each day passed is no way to live, to live out in the open of each day dawning requires you to forget those minutes that have gone.
How do you explain the journey to someone else?
How do make someone see inside of you?
How to you get to that place inside of you that says, free at last thank god I am free at last?
Living the past, present and future of the self is something I have come to know and it has been daunting at times, impossible at times but necessary.
How do you explain to someone else that what you see is with eyes that know what it is looking at is not really as it is? How do you do that?
I sit here and write these words and yet part of me feels that the words are not mine but at the same time they are so much a part of me because I have lived them. I am in a space in time right now that is capturing words in me that I only hear in whispers, they are not mine to speak, as the words do not show themselves in the living me.
I wonder if I can get this back, this space in time. I wonder if it will be lost when the reality of the day appears and I go and make the coffee. Will I remember what it was like to feel this space in time again?
The words come easy, they flow as if they are not mine, but where do they come from? They must be mine as I could not write them if it wasn’t so. I live to understand how I work. We are works in progress; we are all stories yet to be discovered and uncovered.
How can I explain to someone else that my thoughts live in another space in time? How do I explain that?
I have traveled far, yet, I have traveled nowhere. I have seen sights that are not pretty but I have seen nothing at all. I live in a space that only exists in me and I marvel at it every day. I have so much in me to give, but as I exist in this space in time, it is clear that this is not the way that I will go. I am of another world, another space in time, yet I walk amongst you. Do you see me, I wonder?
How do I explain to someone else that I am not what I seem? I don’t, I keep it to myself. I live in my head in that space in time. I exist for the life that isn’t there, yet I live it everyday.
The journey - how do I explain the journey to someone else who doesn’t see what I see? I live for the forward motion in me; once upon a time I just lived. I never thought of the journey as a process, it was just life. How does ‘just life’ become something different? How do I become something, someone different when I have only known me one way?
How do I explain to someone else that there is another me, another way? They would have to have my eyes or walk in my shoes, but they cannot, as they are not me.
I have pondered this journey, I have tried to explain it to myself but there are no answers only questions. I have had to lose everything and yet it was never mine in the first place.
How do you explain to someone else that you have lost everything but it was never yours to begin with?
This journey - aah this journey it was never meant to be like this, this is not what I had planned for me, so who else had a hand in this.
How do I explain to someone else that the journey I am on was taken out of my hands long ago, but at the same time was in my hands? How could they understand what I was trying to say if they are not me? I cannot find the words to satisfy what someone else wants to hear, I cannot.
My hands, my hands, I look down at my hands they are just hands but they have many tasks to perform but they are just hands. What do my hands symbolize that is far and away beyond what I know them to be? This I could also ponder, but I have already trod that path to wonder, I don’t have to wonder because it doesn’t matter what I think because I know it is out of my hands.
How do I explain to someone else that hasn’t lived my life and experienced my journey, that I have already trod the path of wonder, that I know more than I am letting on? How do I explain that, I can’t?
I live a life on the other side of the mirror because I have been told that I do. Is it something I have experienced? Yes. Explain that to me, I hear someone else say, where is this mirror and what do I have to do to live on the other side of it, what is so special about it?
How do I explain to someone else that has not experienced the other side of the mirror and the life that I live there? How do I explain that? I can’t. I say to the “someone else”, you have to find your own way there but it’s OK I have the map and I have the tools that can show you how to succeed in finding the other side of the mirror. But will they want to go there when I tell them it is an arduous journey and along the way you will lose everything…the way you think, the way you live, the way you relate….but it’s ok because once you lose it all, you will gain so much more…so here, take the map and I’ll give you the tools.
How do I explain to someone else to trust me, I am doing what is best for you. I can’t. How do they know I am doing what is best for them, they can’t possibly know. But then I say to them it’s OK, you don’t have to trust me, all you have to do is trust the other part of you and it will do what you cannot.

How do you explain to someone else to believe in another part of them that they have not yet experienced. You can’t. But you say to them once you take the step and begin the journey the rest will follow.
How do you teach someone to have faith in themselves when they don’t know what they are meant to be trusting in and who to believe?
I have begun this journey in earnest. I found me.
What does it really mean?
What do I do now?
Where do I go from here?
It’s like the old saying “all dressed up and know where to go”. I know I am here, I have arrived but not reached my destination, how much further do I have to travel, I don’t know because after all it is a journey that I am on.
How do you explain to someone else that you don’t matter? Doesn’t sound endearing does it?
How do you explain to someone else that it’s ok, because I don’t matter either, it’s not about me.
How do you explain that to someone else that hasn’t experienced the “bigger matter”?
Sometimes I surprise myself when I put pen to paper because the words just jump on to the paper and there they are in all their glory. How does that happen?
I still find it amazing that I one day I couldn’t write and the next day I could.
How do you explain that to someone else who has never had the experience, how do you make them see? You can’t.
How do you explain to someone else that your world has been turned upside down, then downside up and here you are back again in the world of the living but not the same? You can’t.
I have tried to fathom the unfathomable. I cannot. It’s not meant to be worked out or fathomed. Where do I put myself, now that I am here, now that I have arrived at another stop along this journey? I will tell you what I will do, I will write about it, as that’s all I can do, that’s what I do now.


Facing yourself, what does that really mean?
Does it mean that you have to face up to the truth about yourself?
What is that truth and what do you gage that truth by?
Is it somebody else’s truth or do you have to go searching for that truth?
Where do you find it and what do you do when and if you find it?
Where do you start and what happens when the truth begins to unravel?
What are you meant to see when truth arrives?
As I write these words I am so aware that I am not thinking. The words just arrive on the paper – this is how it has always been for me - they just show up.
How do you explain to someone else that the face you see isn’t the face you are really looking at, at all? You can’t. How could they possibly know or understand for that matter that what they see is just an illusion. Doesn’t make sense to the one who is looking on, who can see the face in front of them.
How do you explain to someone else that what they see in front of them is so much more than the eyes can see? I can only try.
The journey…………..this is the journey and I am on it!
How do you explain to someone that you are living with the knowledge of the universe, with unlimited access to its workings and the part that we all play? Well, I have written about it and I have accessed it, so it must be true.
What makes something true?
Is it true just because I say it is? No.
What makes me so sure that what I have accessed from the depths of me is the truth, how do I know this for sure? To tell you the truth the plain and simple truth I struggled with what I do for years. Why did I persist if it was such a struggle? That is a good question. What makes me do what I do? The answer is because it was taken out of my hands and put into bigger hands.
I came face to face with a truth so profound that over the course of years it changed me forever. I ponder over the importance of whether to reveal what I know to be true about me. Will it make any difference to the story, I wonder. I can ponder that question, but it really doesn’t matter what I think, as this is not about me, it’s about who I found that day, or should I say who found me. It makes no difference who found who, as we were brought together for reasons far and above what I could ever imagine them to be.
How do you explain to someone that one day you’re a housewife and the next you are something else. You can’t, but I know I will try. I know one thing for sure that if I wasn’t living the experience then I couldn’t tell you the story. The story is not of my life, but the life I live. The life I have had to come to terms with, and am still coming to terms with as the journey still continues.
Does it only take the spoken word to release what lives within you. Does uttering the words really tell the story of the feeling behind it? What words can be spoken that will explain what you cannot, as words are not enough to express the unexplainable.
How do you explain to someone else that the words spoken are not the true reflection of the inner me?
I can feel the anger raising in me… husband just walked in and I am writing. I am in that space and my flow has been disturbed. Can’t he see, doesn’t he know by now. I expressed my feelings and he makes some inane comment that is not mine to hear, they are his words. His words are not important to me but I am bothered by them. I must find myself, I must. I don’t need the comments, the interruptions, I don’t need the talk. I am only me when I write, no need to hear the words.
I got lost along the way or should I say found. What happens when you lose yourself to something bigger? What you see before you is someone on the verge. I am on the edge about to take another leap of faith. This is how is has always been.


Another day has begun, it’s a new day and it’s raining. As I try to get back to this space in time I am reminded of the difference. How do you explain to someone else that there is a difference between ‘who you are’ in the illusion and ‘who you are’ in that space and time. You can’t, as that space and time has to be experienced. I am at a crossroads, at the point where thought meets space. The two exist but it is only one I want to know. I am experiencing the journey to the self this is how life has become, I am part of it and I want to know more.
How do you explain to someone else that in that space in time you already know it, but there is no use trying to think about it or research it because it only exists within you?
My journey has led me so far away from the maddening crowds, yet at times the illusion of what I once was part of beckons me back. I sit here and write trying to get back to the part of me that longs to be one with it all. Where thoughts are not thoughts, where everything is so much more real. A place where all the answers exist and the questions are not important. I have been there and beyond and I have written about it. 


Something has changed, what is it?
I haven’t been here before.
How can I explain what I don’t know?
How do I explain what a moment before truth feels like, I am going into the unfathomable, sinking into another realm of understanding and yet I am right here?
There are many questions I have in this space now, as I am becoming one with it. I am allowed to ask questions. There are only two other people in this whole world that will know what I am talking about, I won’t have to explain to them, as they will know. In this space in time I can ponder that question, but I already know the answer, so why ponder the question. I know why the question has to be answered because I have to write about it this way. I am at the beginning, how do you know when you are at the beginning of something, what makes you know that? Does there have to be an end, so that there can be a beginning, I wonder.
In this space my thoughts run parallel to what is being written, they are clear but have no bearing on what is being written - I feel like I am an observer - yes – that’s it. I don’t have any input as to what is being written as I have now entered the emptiness of great teaching.
I am not me now. I have moved beyond me, beyond thought and time and I can’t hear the questions to give you the answers. What use is it, if I can’t give you the answers? Everyone must know the answers, if they are to survive in that world. I am looking down now, I can see the difference. I am getting to feel that space in time again, I am nearly home. When I am there I will be able to explain to you what I know, it is only fair that I do. Why are the words coming out this way? I am sitting at the computer just pressing the keys and my fingers are at this space in time, they are the mirror to the soul. How weird is this? I can do two things at once. I haven’t been able to express it like this before. Oh well, it must be time, this is how this journey has been all the way along. Just when you think you have a handle on something, it all changes. There is never a dull moment. I had better get back to where I was before I start to come back. I don’t want to go without telling you what I have seen.
Its liberating that’s what it is. But how can I feel liberated, I am not meant to feel one thing or another, yet I can’t deny what I am feeling. It’s because I am still in my body, even though I am out of my body, I can’t explain it, you will just have to trust me, that the feelings of the physical body will remain intact. This is because I have to have some point of reference, so that I can describe the sensation. There is no thought here; well wait a minute, there is because I am expressing my thoughts to you now. So there must be thought. Explain that if you will. See, I am learning also. I am being told that thought is just a memory of things already gone before. The thought has to come from somewhere, so there must have been a time when it began. I am going to make things a little simpler for you…..
I have to stop right here. I think this will get a little confusing for those who are trying to follow this thread, so I will set this out as a question and answer thing.


So, the question was….”the thought has to come from somewhere, so there must have been a time when it began”?

It was put into you. Thought was the first thing to start the process. You call it thought, but it is really just a name given to something more simplistic.

I am sorry to interrupt, but you know what happens to me when I start to write the answers to what is being said. I start to get interference, with me. I can’t help it. Sometimes it’s fine and other times it’s not so fine. I can’t explain it, can you?

A) Its really very simple, you are trying to access what you already know. You already know the answers, but you have a problem that they may not be true.

Yes, that is right. I think ahead of myself. As the answer is coming to me, I have already made up my mind that I must not be hearing correctly and that the answers can’t be as simple as what I am hearing. I think that they are meant to be more profound. But hey, I am still learning right?

A) If I say no, that you are not still learning, you will know what I mean.

Yes, I know. I already know it. I just have to access it.
Actually I just have to believe that. Part of me believes that already, obviously the part that accesses the information does. But it’s that other part that 'doesn't know' that tries to fathom the unfathomable….wants to understand it first. Once I “click” into that, I am alright…..I am off and running. Everything happens for a reason, what’s the reason? I might be setting myself up here, but I am prepared to listen to what you have to say….that’s if I don’t try to fathom the information first.

A) You’re human. Ever thought of that?

It did cross my mind once or twice.

A) Humans always try to work out the details. That’s what they do best.

How do I stop me, the human from trying to work it out?

A) The answer is quite simple… have first admit to yourself that you know nothing. To come from the point of knowing nothing about what is being said will help.

Why do I have the FEELING that I have heard this all before and it’s about to come back and bite me on the bum?

A) Horses for courses.

A man of few words, eh. I just called you a man, but I meant it metaphorically. I am talking to myself, so this is weird. I haven’t had a conversation from this angle before.

A) You had to journey your way here. It’s time.

What do you need me to know in regards to writing more often?

A) We don’t talk to the BEING, we will talk to the part of you that doesn’t know.

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANKYOU! I’ll understand that.

We will talk to you about the in between times, the times when you are left with you. This part is at a loss we will say, as it doesn’t know what it should or shouldn’t be doing. It can only rely on what it has come to know in the way of being driven to, or making a conscious choice, or a given thought, etc.

Because you have adapted to the way of the BEING, the physical part of you doesn’t know how to operate under its own steam in a sense, as it has come to rely on the Being, to be its driver. This is how it is.

The physical self does lose its way. The physical self does try to insinuate itself into a Beings life, as it now knows that the “house” is different and everything within its walls is different. When in a “new house” the furniture is being moved all the time until it finds where it fits or belongs. The physical self doesn’t belong to the Being. The physical self is overlaid with the Being.

See it this way – you have been living in the same house for years and you decide that instead of moving, you will tear down the old house and build a new house on the “same block”, but with new foundations. Even though you know you haven’t moved, EVERYTHING has changed.

The windows are in different places, the doors, the walls and the floors, etc. You now live in a “new house” but are still left with the memories of the old house that stood on the same spot. As you move about your new house it will feel foreign to you, as nothing is as it was, but life goes on as you try to adjust to your new surroundings. Although the view outside the window is still the same, your perspective will have changed, as you are now viewing from different angles, heights etc.

So, in saying this to you, understand that you live with the same affect, as you try to assimilate to the new you. Nothing relates as it did once and therefore the “brain” tries to make things fit, so as to make sense of it all in a related way. When you write, it is a foreign circumstance to the self that doesn’t know and it is an automatic reaction in the self to want to understand what is coming through.

As you have been doing what you do for a long period of time, you have experienced many changes along the way in how you approach your view to writing. It can only be approached in a non knowing way, as this is how you learn by not knowing. It opens you up to everything that is available to you.

In opening the self up to the Being, you also grow in that knowledge, but the physical self will only learn “how not to” and “how to” and therefore learns how to adapt itself to the Being. The physical self can only guess what it needs to do, as it tries to do what is right, in a sense, for the Being that is the “house”.

The “house” doesn’t need anything doing to it. The “house” has already been built. The “house” just needs the occupant to occupy it. The Being just needs you to be there, so the Being can be what the Being is.

In reference to writing - Dianne doesn’t write, the Being does. Dianne doesn’t have to make a choice, the Being will just do. You can think you are helping the Being by second guessing what is needed, but Dianne will never be able to. Writing more often, is more to do with acknowledging the Being, as Being, the one who knows, and then moving aside. It is a process that will take its course, but as you know, once you have accessed more information, something will insinuate even into the Dianne self that will enable the flow of writing to be more pronounced.

It is like flying blind, like working from a blank canvas. Dianne could not do it that way, as she would need the encouragement, the motivation, the ability, the esteem and the critic in her to get the ball rolling.

Because the Being doesn’t need any of the above, the physical self has to learn differently in order for it to see what can be done without any earthly lodgings.

I am almost afraid to end this conversation, because to get back to this space in time does not happen easily.

A) Like everything, you will find your way back to he beginning. You will leave everything behind you when we meet again.

This is one of the drawbacks about being human, when you gotta go, you gotta go…

Next day the dialogue continues........


Getting back to the point yesterday about admitting to yourself, that you know nothing.
Ok I admit that I know nothing and I know that to be true before I get the answer universally. I have the added thing that I have had so much information and I have to somehow not think. How do you stop from thinking when you are already doing it, without thinking, if you know what I mean?

A) It’s a question of trusting what you get.


Thought I would go down the road of being a housewife one day and the something different the next. Life is never what you think it to be.
We are defined throughout our lives by what we do. I use the term housewife because that defined me as staying at home and being a wife to my husband and a mother to my children and when I went to work it defined me in yet another way.
But what do you do when something stops you in your tracks, what do you do when the person you thought you were, is something much more. You are still the same person but at the same time the whole idea of who you thought you were has shifted.


What is the process I had to go through in order to survive such a twist of fate?
At the time I had no idea what I would have to endure within the self but as I was to find out later it was out of my hands, all I had to do was show up.
When I look back on the days that had led to finding the other me, I could see there were signs along the way. Those signs at the time were significant in themselves and in hindsight were probably indicators of bigger things to come. There are still signs that can blow me away even now but the significance of them is not revealed until such time as a greater source deems it. I have come to learn also that for every single action and choice I make will lead to me to more of who I am. That greater source has taught me to think no other way. I write these words now because I have made a choice to stop what I was doing and sit down at the computer and write. I am here doing what I need to do because there is a part of me that requires that of me. I have questioned “the choice to do or not to do” many times, as I am still learning the ropes, as it were.
As I write these words I am also aware of the other part of me, my higher self. The higher self is the “other part of me” that exists in a higher realm and very, very real. It is my significant “other” I suppose you could say. This is the part of me that I have wrestled with since the year 2000 but I must say that the same could not be said for my higher self – it is not attached to how I do things it has no input it just lets me learn. I was given my higher self name. It is Morphi. It is neither male nor female, it is an energy being. More on that later. 


The words of the sculptor spoken to his student and great friend before he died were, “its' o.k. to go into the stone, isn’t it?” “It’s too early uttered the student, it’s too early”.
As I listened to the words of the sculptor to the architect, “I want to do more than occupy the space that is there”, I realised that as man, we can only find it in the expression of self in some way that moves us beyond a physical reality. What man holds onto is the idea of what that is. We try to find it in objects that are somehow an extension of ourselves, the shapes, the textures and the rigidity of expression.
When does an object become the reality of an illusion through an idea? How do you make that a reality? Is it ever met or satisfied, can it ever be? The artist will always strive for more and search for that expression, as it is an extension of a self that seeks to unlock the restraint of expression in the object. The searching kills us and frees us at the same time. The extension of expression is at our finger tips and the “object” becomes the obstacle or force to be released and unearthed.
The search to finding something more is an expression of who we are on the inside. When the universal meets the earthly, it will be released in an expression within the illusion, for there we can focus on the tangible for release. I am coming into more of me and I begin to understand the complexities of the self and the illusion it lives with in order to feel freedom within the confines of a created illusion.
The artist seeks to know more and the expression of the self is worked on the canvas. The sculptor seeks to know more and so he chips away until the illusion of an idea emerges. Both striving for an outcome that will satisfy the need to express the inner self and only ever fulfilling that need until the next expression of self arises.
“How can you be one thing one minute and something else another, is it just an illusion that perpetuates the circumstance?”

A) Yes, it can be no other way. You can change the illusion and you can change an idea within the illusion.
The illusion is….. that everything is fixed. The idea outside of the illusion is the reality, it gives you the path to go, it releases you from what you thought was either the right or wrong way to go. It takes away the frustration from a self, which is obstructed by an illusion of an idea, instead of recognizing that nothing is fixed, it can be changed and moved.


I see the child and everything is freedom.
The fixity and the freedom, two expressions of self living side by side.
I am thrown by the freedom, as I am used to the fixity of the illusion BUT the freedom teaches me to take note of the child and to learn from its innocence. The rigidity shows me what is allowed to enter when innocence has been taken away by the expression of someone else within the created illusion.
I hummmmm…….to the idea of reality, it releases a force in me that resonates beyond any illusions I might have. Getting caught in the illusion defies the true expression of self, it halts a process that is innate in us and it’s up to us to see beyond its grip.
What do they find in themselves when a work is completed? Is it a satisfaction that the expression is now complete, or is it just the beginning of an expression yet to be discovered?
My journey tells me the truth of it all. I am not a painter, I am not an artist, it was an illusion of an idea that I had to encounter so that I would know without doubt the answer.
Expression of the True Self has a leaning towards me, learning more of me.
Going beyond the Self and at the same time living in a created illusion, shows me that there is not supposed to be a completion or a place of being satisfied.
No striving to be the best or better than before, no goals to achieve a desired result and no desires.


It is a place where EVERYTHING you do has already been done for you, by you, when you surrender to the void within. It’s all about discovering the place within you that knows there is nothing else to do, nothing more can be done. It has already happened. All the mistakes, the right and wrongs are waiting for you in the illusion and ready to be soaked up and swallowed. Accept that you are just an experiment in the grand order of things and it’s a puzzle that can be worked out. The key is to see the illusion, if you don’t believe you are creating the illusion then the reality of it all will escape you.


I am neither one nor the other; I am one in the same.
I have been freed from the thoughts of the life that was once mine. That life has come to its conclusion; it had to be that way for the rest that was to follow.
You have become my reason to climb; you have embedded yourself so deep into my soul that I know how you taste now. I have come to know you, my way. It is neither right nor wrong that I do so, for it is perfect in every way and lasting.
I am aware of the prison within which I live – it is like no other. There are no walls, no bars and no restrictions at least not to the naked eye.
In an earthly life you are given the freedom to move about as long as you stay within those confines. I speak of the earthly self that goes about unnoticed until the rules are changed.
You came in the midst of change; you were that change, you were responsible for my break out of self. I come to you now, knowing that the words I speak are yours, not mine. The day will come when there will be no visible join. I won't even know - I will just BE.
It is time that I bring two other people into this story because they play a significant role in my life. This is not meant by any means to dismiss my husband of many years, but it is to just show how things get taken out of your hands and put into bigger hands.
I met my friend around the year 1970-71, she and I just clicked and we have remained close friends ever since. I went to work as the children got older and my friend became a foster parent. She traveled and lived overseas for a while and I stayed put. We never lost contact in that time but it was a big gap in my life during that period when she wasn’t there. During time my friend was overseas she had what you would call a spiritual awakening, actually that probably doesn’t even come close to what she experienced, but nonetheless it had a profound affect on her and was only the beginning of her journey and what was yet to come her way. The best way I could describe her now is, as a walking and talking living energy being. The other part of the trio I met via my friend, a meeting that would eventually culminate in the 3 of us working together. A relationship based on universal grounds.


I’m back again, emerging out of a fog that had me in its grip. The fog talks to me and tells me that things are as they need to be for a time. How was I to know that the fog was my friend, my teacher? The fog doesn’t exist at all in reality, only in the way of moving something within me. The fog is a necessary part of the earthly existence, as it sets the invisible scene. It cannot be seen by the naked eye, only the eye that sees beyond its grip. Oh thank you fog, thank you veil, thank you for being present within me so that I could see who you really are…… illusion.


Now I must continue to wend my way forward through the levels of sanity to the place where no land exists, only seas upon seas. No shores to set sail from, no shores to return to, but to a life where life has its meaning. Come with me as I travel through doorways and portals and see mirrors that have no reflection. This side of the door holds keys to wonders that have been kept in abeyance until now. What shall be found is not known, at least not until I come upon its dawning to me. You see I am opening up to a part of me that has not seen the light of day until now. It knows not, what is beyond knowing but it knows it exists. Today is the day I will venture fourth and take you with me as I explore bit by bit the wonders of the universe and what it has to offer.


Where shall I start, which door shall I walk through first. I know there are many doors to walk through, but I will pick but one - at least for now.
This world holds the key to so many vistas……….experience what I experience for the first time.
As I walk toward the Being, I notice a whistling sound, not piercing, just a soft whistle that sounds like the wind on a beautiful summers day.
Hello, I say.
It acknowledges my presence by nodding back to me and then beckons me through the door.
As I walk through he ushers me forward, I can't hear any words uttered but I know we are communicating telepathically.
Being rather human, I say to him “nice day for a walk”.
Nothing but silence.
Have I offended him, have I said the wrong thing I don’t know….I just keep walking.
As I look around I see rows of white doves just hovering above the path that I am walking down.
What on earth are they doing here?
I feel as though they know who I am; strangely enough it feels like a guard of honor. How strange this is becoming.
WAIT! I hear from behind me, “WAIT FOR ME!”
I look around but there is no one to be seen, I just keep walking. WAIT! It stopped me in my tracks this time, the sound pounding in my head.
OK! I said, OK. I’m waiting, wherever you are. I can’t see you.
It wasn’t long before I realized that the sound was coming from within me.
Who are you?
Why can I hear you?

I am Tobessa, your guide for the day.
Don’t you remember, you are on the other side of the door now and what you once knew doesn’t apply here?
You have come here to be shown your life.

As I listened to this Being talking inside me, I realised that if I had been anywhere else but here, I could think I was going mad. Tobessa continued to explain to me that I was returning here to learn more of universal matters.
“Returning here to learn more?”
I didn’t know I had already been here. What…… did I fail the exam, and I’m back for another test? I hope not, I hate exams.

No, Tobessa replied. You didn’t fail any tests. You passed with flying colors. You’ve come back here, so that you can take more knowledge back with you.
This time will be different.

Different how?

Different in the way that you will begin to relate to……things.

She had me intrigued and I was willing to tag along to see how this all panned out.

Come over here and be seated.

I sat down as was asked of me and felt an instant connection to the chair… odd. I didn’t say anything, I just observed what was happening and sat there quietly.

It’s your throne.

I reacted instantly and jumped out of the chair.

You wouldn’t be here, if you weren’t meant to be.

I suppose so…….why am I here anyway?

Don’t you remember…….you asked for it.

You’re right, I don’t remember.
That was one of my biggest problems trying to remember things.
I sat back down and looked at Tobessa. She was a “Being” alright, no mistaking that. She had an air about her that was angelic and she was dressed in what seemed layered gowns of white, white and more white…..but all different shades of white, if that’s possible. She wore a head piece of some description that glowed, rather than sparkled. It was so luminous in fact, that I couldn’t look directly at it, as it hurt the back of my eyes. Her face… do you describe the face of the likes of which you have never seen before? All I can say it was porcelain like, with eyes so gentle yet alluring…..they drew me in. Her mouth……I don’t think she has one….no, she doesn’t. I must remember, I’m on the other side of the door and anything is possible.
She stood in front of me and looked into my eyes.

What do you think?

Don’t you know, I said, I thought you could read minds.

“You’ve got that about face, she said. I know what you are going to say, because you have already projected that thought, but I don’t know what you are going to think, as it hasn’t played forward.”

That’s interesting.
We have been learning all about thought and things playing forward. So it’s interesting that I am actually having a conversation with you about things we have been taught. I was being a little facetious before about you reading minds, I think I just needed a little light relief.”

So what do you think? She continued.

She’s persistent, I’ll give her that.
I don’t know yet, it’s all so new to me - I like being here….I’m a bit apprehensive, as it is new territory….but it’s all good.
I am fascinated with the chair though…..and what I felt when I sat down,

So what do you think? She persisted.

It’s magical.


The Source is Food
When I am seated, I can see.

“The chair is designed that way, it is the seat to everything”, she said.

“I feel grounded, that’s how it makes me feel.”

“It’s your connection to everything there is”.

“How can that be?” I asked.

“You were born into it.”

“The chair?”

“The role”, she said.

That’s why you came here, to be shown your life and the role you play in that life. It’s by no accident that you are here, now, to explore more of who you are. It will be in your words, not through my eyes.
I will leave you now

I was given those words just before I was interrupted. It's as though at that point I leave my universal body to enter back into the illusion. I deal with the interruption then return to that space that I can still feel hovering. I am glad to see that I can start from where I left off it’s as though no time has passed.
As I watched her go, I remained seated. The arms of the chair were so high that I felt swamped by its presence.
I sat there for what seemed like an eternity. Where do I go from here, which way will I turn.
I didn’t have to wait long for my answer.


As I sat there, I felt a shaft of light go through me and up my back. It was a pole of light energy. My head arched back and my eyes began to close. What’s happening to me? Before too long I became separated or distanced from my mind. My mind was being relieved of its duty, or that’s how it felt. No thinking, no thought process.

I am here to show you the way without interferences from sections of the self. I am above the selves, the ones who go about their business. There is no logic to be found here, only Universal Truths. We are bound by Universal Lore.
We are the Core of Mankind.
The Root Core.
The Umbilical Core.

I’m home now and I see who they are.
At that point I stood up, or was I forced out of the chair? I'm not sure which but I am on my feet and feeling a bit wonky.
I am alone and there is no one in sight. I recalled what has just occurred. Then it happened.
My arms became outstretched. My feet were knocked from under me and I was airborne. I started spiraling upwards. Thank goodness I’m not getting dizzy – I hate heights. I can’t see below me for the height to be of concern.

WELCOME. The voice exploded around me. You are here to be shown your life.


“What request are you making?”

“What request?” Request. I had no knowledge of making a request but I knew the question was being asked of me. They must know something I don’t.
So I just said, “I’m not sure what to say and in relation to what?”

“To your fear”, the voice boomed back.

“Where would you like me to start?”

“Your fear of life now and its role, the voice said, and how to overcome its grip on you.”

“Yes, tell me, I would like to know the answer to that one, I really would.”

You have become a separate identity to the one you were and you don’t know how to proportion it to what you are now.

“What does that mean, I said.”

You don’t know where to put it in relation to your life.

“Yes, you are right. It has no basis. It’s a new ground I tread. There is nothing earthly about a universal life, but at the same time the earthly exists all around me.”

See EVERYTHING as Universal grounds for what you do.


One day could seem like the next, no beginning and no end, all meshed together. But days do have an end and a beginning. What about the time in between - what happens in the ‘in between time’, the time when there is no time that can be recalled because you are out of it. Time has no meaning when you are asleep to it. It only has meaning when the sleep has been broken and you become aware of the time, really aware of the time.
Sleep is more than it is cracked up to be. Sleep is where you replenish yourself or it can be the opposite. It can be a time of imposed thoughts, thoughts that visit you when there is no one around to interrupt them, a time when the interruption would be welcomed, so as to become distanced from those thoughts that seem invasive and pervasive.
Why do I venture here now, what is it that has driven me here? I am just the writer, I have no thought to do or not to do, I just wait for thought to arrive and the rest is new history.
We are put to sleep so that we can awaken to the more of who we are. Contradiction in terms maybe, but in reality it is not so.
It just so happens that our body clocks are tuned into night and day. We were given other clocks as well. Those clocks are what make us tick but we are removed from its mechanism until we reach a point within our selves to being in the right place at the right time. How do we know when the time is right and when does the mechanism of Universal time become one with us.
To dismiss or ignore that which you do not know is out of ignorance but in reality it is for the protection of the self. To hear words of a foreign nature exposes you to the sleep that can only be awakened within you, ‘if’ you have already accepted a destiny that is out of your hands.


There is a race against time. The race is to get one step ahead. Ahead of what? How do you win the race against time? What is playing out within the self that puts time, as the essence? Within the hours of ‘awake time’ you enter a time of fixated perception. Within this time frame anything goes and is up for grabs. You rely on others and their will to make time stand still so that needs can get met in an allotted time. When things don’t get seen to, then there is always tomorrow, and so the process starts all over again.
In the ‘in between time’ after dusk and before dawn, time drifts into another dimension within the self but only if you allow the night to take you freely.
In the ‘in between time’ when the head has thought it’s last thought and the mind becomes awakened to sleep, the next phase of the passing day dawns, in Universal time. You are no longer present in your body to assist your travel into the Universal realm. You do not dictate the terms of your travel, nor do you pick your destination. Here, you are fed information that is relative to the life you live. You are given dreams in metaphors. These metaphors are specifically related to the life you live now, although in reality it is a life playing out in another parallel. All parallels have their way of connecting to another parallel life and as each one exposes the self and is accepted, growth then becomes apparent. As growth is done on another level the onus is then on the sleeping self to ‘get it’. As growth is on other levels first, it becomes the responsibility of the sleeping self, to tune in, or turn on to that frequency when you arrive back at your destination point, ‘bed’.
The day is for implementing and the night is for replenishing the soul. The soul allows you to experience the journey and the ‘living self’ is given the choice to take up the offer that the soul has put forward.
Some days may seem short, other days may seem long, and some days just seem to run into one another. Whatever the day or the circumstance, universal time caters for all who have their own nights and their own days.
The clock is ticking. A new day is dawning. When you awake from the ‘in between time’, the first thought you have is the last place you’ve been.


I awoke from my sleep, it was 3.19am.
Thoughts, thoughts and more thoughts. The first thought is the last place you’ve been. I can’t remember the first thought, but I remembered one of the last thoughts I had before I drifted back off to sleep at 5.05am…..insulation and isolation. It made sense at the time but now its morning and other thoughts are coming into play.
Insulation and isolation.
I know why I have been isolated on this journey and the words insulated have many meanings to me… relation to this journey. Everything is 180 degrees out, so I will take it to the bigger denominator.
Insulated from the 3D world and inoculated against its currency. I have been insulated and protected and isolated from a creeping virus called ‘man’. Oh how I see why I had to be separated from its race, to be insulated against is wrath and isolated for my protection. But I am back in it and my eyes are widening to the foreign land that I have been thrust back into.
I know more. Every word uttered from the foreign shore speaks a foreign language. The language is designed to take others down, to disentangle their own webs that they have been caught up in. There is a ray of sunshine when the innocence appears and has not yet been exposed to the full extent of the virus, but it is only a matter of time until it concedes.
I know more. The virus of man cannot be cured by man alone, but he hasn’t got that yet. If he is inoculated against the foreign body that is carried within him……..then the fight will stop. They fight themselves and everyone and everything else to be accepted and recognized.
I can’t help them. Would I be able to help them even if I wanted to, I doubt it? They are too entrenched to alter the course that they are already on. “What will it take, a bolt of lightening?” a wise old soul once said. The shift in consciousness is the only way out for these foreigners but will they want to leave their own land? It won’t matter, as they will be forced from the land and the sea is their only hope.
Apathy, unpreparedness and the will. When things are rosy in your garden where will you go?


Leave well enough alone, let them figure it out for themselves and when the change is upon them, then they will know soon enough that change was always going to be inevitable because the 100th monkey came into play.
Good luck. You fight your own fight. It is not up to me to fight it for you.
But I will show you when you ask.


The words are pulled from me. They mean more than I know them to be.
I feel me. Three little words.
I feel me, could mean that ‘I feel like the old me’ but in new clothing.
But as I lay watching television, those words came back to me and tugged at me in a different way to what I supposed them to be.
It dawned upon me and I saw it, as it was. I feel me.
I am feeling who I am.
I am feeling the mechanics of the self in a different way. I thought I was feeling like my old self again. But how wrong could I be. I can never “feel me” in the old way, as that was just a conjured up image of something or someone that fitted my perception, someone with whom I was comfortable being within the illusion of my reality.
I have been taught by the best. I have been guided by the best. I have been driven to change my perception, so that I can embrace a reality that is devoid of misgivings. The universe is a hard teacher, but it is just. The universe takes what you have come to know and turns it on its head. It reaches in to the very depth of your soul and there it begins to teach you all over again. It has no regard for feelings or emotions or attachments, but it knows all about unconditional love.
I don’t have to be concerned with what I know. I don’t have to be concerned with what I don’t know. I don’t need to know more than I know at this point in time. I have come to another point of seeing. A point of seeing that enables me to see more of me in an unrestricted way.
My contact with “upstairs” has changed. Is it because I can converse in such a way that leaves no room for leaning to the earthly agendas or outcomes? This is strange. How can I see above what is below and yet be aware of the other parts of me that haven’t caught on. Really, I cannot afford to give those other parts of me the time of day that they seek, as they would interfere with the work that has been done. I am also aware that if that inference is necessary, (for me to see something or learn something) it will occur.
Nothing will move forward until we are ready.
What will need to occur for us to be ready?
The axis will move to its final tilt.
Now it is starting to make even more sense why we are being aligned and prepared for bigger things to come. I don’t think to remind myself. I am glad that you bring this to my attention. Not that I know what that fully means, but it means something to me, because I feel it.
That’s the only time I really feel like me. When something bigger is happening to me that I don’t have a clue about, but I know it means something. Go figure.

A question for Upstairs
Do I need reminding?

You just think you do, it makes you think about what you already know to be true.

I wish that didn’t make sense. But it does.
“See everything as Universal grounds for what you do.”
I am led, until I see.
Once you begin to see, there are no grounds for debate.
Hmm…that’s the truth of it.


This morning the words “wants don’t matter” appeared and then they disappeared. I tried to retrieve them but for the life of me I couldn’t pull them in. But here they are, they have showed up at the precise moment.
What earth’s inhabitants want doesn’t matter. It has never mattered. You just have to come to a point within yourself and recognise that you don’t matter - to see that it doesn’t matter.
What do I know about the bigger matter?
At times I thought I was led and other times misled.
I only had eyes to see a portion at a time. You want to be given everything the way you want it, so that you are spared from any pain of finding out the hard way. But as I have come to know…the pain is the gain of bigger understanding.
I am so small, yet so big in fact that you can’t see me.
I am hidden from view in such a way that you will have to come searching for me if, you want to find me.
I can be found amongst the living dead and the seeing.
I tap you on the shoulder or whisper in your ear for you to turn around, rather than appear before you.


Everyone wants proof.
Everyone wants it done their way, but what you want doesn’t matter. Once I thought that it had to matter, but what did I know.
If you think that you matter, it will cloud everything else and how you see.
Only in the depths of me does it make sense and it is here that the sense has a depth. I know who I am there; I know what I am there. As the void of knowledge imbeds itself within me, it is literally out of my hands to change the direction. The seed has been sown, the dye cast and this is where I become matter.
I have been led, until I could see.
It is important information, as once you reach a point of seeing you do not have to be led anymore.
It is more than having to choose, as choice is not part of the equation anymore.
What is beyond choice? It is just being, doing.
It is not even about ‘allowing’ anymore. The journey is made complex, but in reality is such a simple one.
I have become the walls with ears.
I am an empty house.
I am all there is and yet I don’t matter.
It makes perfect sense. I know my place, but where is it?
I live, to live but must die first to witness such life.
I have been led, until I could see.


I have been led until I could see.
It is never ending and until it is seen, I will be continually led.
Triggers are like that. Something will trigger in me and there is no earthly answer that can meet the need to know.
So I venture upward to find the conclusive, not elusive answer. Whether I fully understand it, is of no concern, but ultimately it will lead where it must, this is how it has always been.
I have seen something on television that has triggered me to write today. I have seen a past life in full swing and the arbitrator has no idea that this is so. He has no answers for what has driven him to amputate his leg. It has been a life long burden that he has carried and he would not feel whole until this foreign body had been removed.
As I sat watching, I realised from the start of the interview that I was seeing a past life being lived in a tangible way. It got me to thinking. Things are carried over into this life and we don’t have a clue that it relates to other lives. Here was someone who knew his leg didn’t belong on this body but he didn’t know why. For over forty years he struggled with his thoughts, behavior and actions to have his leg removed and it wasn’t until he was successful that he felt whole. There was no one to help him comes to terms with his fixation and yet when the leg was removed everything ceased to be a burden.
Had we got to him in time, he may have understood the need to have his leg removed from his body. But as it was, it was his journey and what he endured had to be made public. It was a confronting story for those who could not logically put it into any rational thought process. When the mind can’t rationalise it will discriminate.
It was obvious that this man had to endure something which had to be seen to be believed but not understood. What we carry from other lives plays such an enormous part in our lives but it is not seen in such a tangible way.
I am seeing more than I can put into words and it is coming from an unfathomable place. What we know of past and parallel lives is still only a fraction of what there is to know. The past does revisit us here on earth until we 'get it'. But there is more to know and it is 180 degrees out with earth's logic.
I am going into a dense, yet lighter realm so that I can bring you this understanding.
Lives are lived in sequences of events and each event pertains to the next and the one before.
As you gather knowledge of yourself in this life, you will experience episodes of remembrance that causes a reaction in you to thwart a past life episode.
As a life revisits you in this life you are taken to its full brunt and therefore will experience what should have been recognized within that past life.
It is not until you carry an act through that the “character” will truly emerge. This relates to lives that are carried within the selves on a conscious level.
An act of vengeance carried out on the self determines the level of the lesson. When an act of vengeance is carried out knowingly in an unknowing way, the lesson to the self is not seen but felt. It will be in direct relation to the act, not the person.
“A willful act is without conscience and therefore is not a past life episode brought forward, but a creating of a new wave of 3D consciousness.
Understand that as everything moves forward in universal realms the consciousness of the 3D moves towards its destructive end.


I have experienced something tangible within the self, yet it won’t be seen but certainly felt by me.
I am so aware of the spaces. The different spaces in the universal me.
One has the knowledge of what is learned and cannot go further than what it knows, even in that space.
I had the experience of knowing more but could not put it into words
And then there’s the other space……the unfathomable me and boy, is it that something to behold.
I had to find that space which then enabled me to forget what I knew.
It does feel so ‘empty’.
I am letting go to that space in time, so that I can give us what is truly ours to know.
No thought here……there is nothing here that connects the dots.
It’s like free falling.
There is no rhyme or reason here, just words thrown at me….coming from all directions.
I am not to make sense of them…not now. Time for that later.
The world is black…very, very black. There is no light to be seen, as they have extinguished all light. There is no panic amongst the ones of renown, as they know why. All of mankind has been jilted by the forces that they trusted be. It will be black for a time, the others wait in abeyance. There will be a cue given. This will be the time to go. I see where they are fleeing to and it is a place of rebirth. See what has been given as metaphoric. Know that what enables you to grasp the fuller meaning will also help you to uncover other signs that have been given along the way. It is done this way and there is an order to it. Only the 3 that have endured will fully understand why it had to be this way.
Time to get up out of the chair and shake it out. And one…..and two….and bend……and stretch. I’ll leave the building, while I'm still standing…


Where are we going? I have no clear understanding and yet it doesn’t matter. I am in the hands of the universe and I am secure in that knowledge. Outside of this there is no security, only what is created to give us a feeling of security.
What has happened that has allowed me to trust something outside of this earthly realm? It all comes down to encounters with the universe. The universe does have a voice, very loud and very clear and it comes to life in the living self. It lives and breathes within each of us.


I have encountered this voice on many levels within myself and each time I have pushed the envelope to prove that I was right.
I posed the question although I knew the answer “what makes it so important to be right”?
It relates to all areas of life and until you are willing to let go of holding on to wanting to be right, nothing will move you to hear the “universal voice” waiting to be heard.
I had to trust enough, which then enabled me to let go to something more.
Trusting enough enables you to see.
It takes courage to put your trust in bigger hands.
It takes courage to step out of a known existence into empty spaces.
The empty space is the trust. The empty space catches you.
Once you allow the empty space to envelop you, you will know why you held on so tightly.
The empty space makes you full and it allows you to breathe the universal air.
The air is there for the asking, but you have to ask for it.
The air is free.
There is no universal price.
It’s as simple as breathing in and out.


I walk into the illusion and then I step out. Everything within the illusion is solid in any mans’ language but to the Universe it is all reflection. Once you step outside of the illusion you are not part of the reflection anymore, as you don’t see yourself in anything. There are no mirrors to reflect off. There is nothing of yourself to be seen in those around you.
I walk into the illusion and then I step out.
I understand why I go back into the illusion and I am not part of it.
The ‘other part of me’ saw it and then I saw it as well.
We bring back to the illusion the “being”, the “True Self” and the “Unfathomable” and reflect it in themselves, if they choose to see it. We are the “way showers”. We will bring up anything and everything earthly within them to see, this is how it will be.
The deed is being done. The contract is being fulfilled and enacted amongst the living dead.
Trusting enough that bigger hands are guiding you, will reap what the universe has already sown.
It makes perfect sense in a perfect universe


As I listened to someone speak about being objective, it triggered that urge in me to write.
Is it possible to be objective before you live the experience of something yet to come?
Once you have lived the experience, can you then be objective?
In earthly terms you can think you are being objective but universally, everything earthly is subjective.
You are subjected to and by everything around you.
Everything is affected by a cause – and for every reaction to a cause the effect will cause the action taken.
We cause the effect.
We have to act for there to be a re-act-ion.
We subject the subjective to the objective directive.
This we already know, don’t we? Why is it that I have to write these words? Am I seeing more in me that I don’t know about yet?
This is how it will be, because it will lead to where it needs to go.
Who made it so?
What really drives me to do it this way?
What makes it official?
What really sets me amongst the pigeons?
What makes me this way?
What above everything else has given me the authority to act?
It creeps up on you and you don’t see it coming. It insinuates into you and changes every fiber of your being. It changes the way you see and think. It has a name…’s our very own “F” word. The FFFFFFForce. –
I have become this.
I have become what I was born to be.
I have surrendered to what I always was.
I have been cocooned long enough.
It’s not a story that needs telling, it is just a life emerging, that’s all.
There is no explanation.


What do I do? I write, that’s what I do. I don’t write to be accepted. I write because that’s what I was born to do. O.K so I got it wrong in the beginning and I picked up a paint brush instead of a pencil….so how was I to know?
Words paint the picture, don’t they? I paint the words on a very wide canvas, as I have a lot of area to cover. Yep, it takes in the whole landscape and the people, the ones that grow. So I got that wrong too and painted trees!
I have no words for what I do, as they don’t fit the earthly 3D picture. I paint a different picture now and it’s more perfect than the picture I always tried to make perfect. Nothing was ever good enough. Now it IS enough. Now it IS perfect.
There is so much to say. Everything is coming towards me thick and fast and I don’t know if I can keep up with the pace at which it travels. I will try. 


To get the best of who you need to be, you have to say NO at some point, so that you can begin to say YES.
You have to know the power of NO, to experience the freedom of YES.
I am beginning to understand. There are things that touch us into realisation.
You have to be touched to be led.
You only need to see the hand to be guided.
The pain of joy revisits us when we think the healing has been done. Something wonderful is created out of something so seemingly painful.


I speak in metaphors, as it is not for me to tell you what you see. The puzzle will ultimately become the picture, and you too will see what you consist of.
The “stone” is making its appearance once again. There is more to it. The stone will tell me what to do… knows. All things created know. The spaces know – the unfathomable – the void. The spaces speak to me. Some spaces just don’t fit, they don’t belong. They need to be played with and shifted until the space tells you what to do. Ambiguity is also within the spaces. As I look out of my window I see the space within the illusion. The space was there before the illusion, did you know that? We filled it up, and in doing so the spaces became harder to find and to see. I see you. The space talks to me even when something is in the way of me seeing it there. If I hear the empty space speak to me, I will know what to put into it. You have to get out of your own way first to see what the space wants you to see. Then you will know.
I have known this space all of my life but I was afraid to venture there. It was a space foreign to me, yet it always beckoned me to know it. Now that I am finally coming into that space, I see a clarity in me. This space speaks to me but I had to find it within me, so that I could speak about it. How do you speak of something until you know it? I always thought I was different, now I know I am. I just thought I was like everyone else and tried to make me fit. I know I don’t fit. I know what that uncomfortable shoe was all about. Halleluiah!
I heard them say “but he can’t be an ordinary person”, and they judged him for it. An ordinary person is safe has nothing of value to offer. There is no judgment in that statement but it is the truth. When an extraordinary life emerges out of an ordinary existence then you cease to be part of it. It’s the ordinary in you, that can’t see the extraordinary.
We are all connected to that force, even if we don’t acknowledge that we belong.
That’s the great thing; I now have the knowledge of the empty space and what it needs me to know.
You don’t have to know about something for it to exist.


Triggers, trigger something in me waiting to be acknowledged. It has already been spoken by another, yet it is now mine to run with. If it is already in existence, why must I wait for the trigger to then occupy my space? It is a relative question. What triggers the unfathomable space, if we are the ones creating that space before it exists? What is it in others that trigger the space in me? If we are separate from the consciousness that exists within the earth’s realms, what then exists within that consciousness to trigger the unfathomable in me?
The words floated out of scripted voices and into my living room, they had been written for me, but I had to hear the words first before I saw them.


“What is the cause of the cause that affects us?

The cause of the cause that is affecting you is the unconscious that is not conscious, because you are feeling the affect of the unfathomable.
The True Self - is the Unfathomable. The Higher Self - is the 5D The Little Self - is the 3D.
Once the selves become one with all that is, then what affects the ONE, begins to take over the reigns within the physical self. The answer itself becomes a catalyst for the effect on the self.
There is no consciousness in that space, as we are creating it. The words appear and I know them to be true. The consciousness that we inhabit has no idea of what truly awaits, it only thinks it does. At every turn the words I hear coming at me through that consciousness can only speak of what it is able to access. This information is great, as it sheds more light on why we are REALLY out on a limb, all by ourselves with no one to talk to.
“Reality is the fear of not knowing what is coming. It hits you when you feel it”.


It is not something that you can consciously do, or choose to do. It comes by way of a process. There are steps to that process which you do on an unconscious level. The opposite applied before, when you had to make the choice. The unfathomable in you, will just become the norm, so to speak. There will be nothing to it.


It has nothing to do with me, as I have no knowledge of its existence within me.
When I told you what I didn’t know, it did not come from me, as I would not have uttered those life changing words even if I had known them to be true. Would I go out of my way to tell you something that I didn’t know? It all makes perfect sense now. I can only tell you what I know in the living self, and not what I don’t.
I’m beginning to see beyond, what I don’t know. Only the garbled me steps in when it realises that it has no proof to back up a universal voice. It will try to remain somewhat intact, amidst the onslaught of the self, that doesn’t know what message the universe is sending at that time.
Oh, for the beginning of clarity. It clears the way for bigger things to follow.

We spoke of the “holding pattern”.
What is it holding us to?

The holding pattern is a conception of what comes before the cause is born. As you spiral upwards into the expanding you, transient meshes of ethereal layers peel back to reveal the matter, which is contained in you.

I'm glad I asked!!


Does the journey come to its end because of a death, or is the beginning of another journey really the same one? I can’t tell yet. It will reveal itself soon enough. As I lay awake there was such clarity in what I was seeing. Now it is difficult to revisit those moments.
Clarity doesn’t come at a price to me; it is the others who will pay the price in not seeing. I don’t have any responsibility to the person I once was.
I don’t owe her anything.
She lived her life the only way she knew how but it will take me to show her how it really is.
She is really seeing clearly for the first time.
It will take its toll on her but there is no hurry.
The main thing is that she sees. Enough said for now.


I live on the edge of land and sea but not in the way you think.
It is the night before the dawn.
The dawn of a new age, the dawn of new understanding and the dawn of new thought.
The ‘other part of me’ needs to be explored now, as it is for history’s sake. I wouldn’t be doing my “job” if I didn’t give the other side of the story.
The story is in the self that is matter and functions in its original form. To live here is paramount and to relate and interact from this position is unquestionable.


I have been given the ability to see beyond the day to day and not be influenced by its gravity, but this does not mean that I am not subjected to the influences around me The influences are subtle in relation to the affect it has on me and forces me to accommodate inherent lodgings.
As I write these words the physical body is feeling the alignments to what IS.
The living self doesn’t know the TRUTH. To face the truth in ones self will only be done in the earthly way. The TRUTH doesn’t matter here. There is no truth to be found here, only what IS. You will only get an idea of what the Universal TRUTH is when you are still trying to find it there.
I understand why I am not responsible for what you say, as even now in this earthly body it doesn’t understand the enormity or gravity of what is being said. I know you operate from such a great height and the ladder I climb only goes so far. I will have to step off at some point to hand over the reigns to Morphi, but not until my “job” is done here. The Universe will direct me to move in all directions at one time, it has an investment in the outcome, which directly relates to the New Dawn reckoning.


“There is no TRUTH to be found here, only what IS. You will only get an idea of what the Universal TRUTH is when you are still trying to find it there.”
I have been told that I need to explore all avenues of this, as the earthly truth about the self does set one free.
I will do it for all mankind.
There is no truth in the unfathomable as truth only exists in the living self, which is living an earthly life .
I don’t want to know any earthly truth. The earthly truth doesn’t interest or sustain me, as it leaves me in “no mans land”.


The signs, the signs, the signs.
The signs are always there, but you have to find your way to them.
They are such an integral part of this journey and it is up to me to see them. They present themselves amidst the journey of the transitory self. When they are seen the message is clear, as this is the way it has been all the way along.
What if the sign is seen but ignored, is it the transitory self in action? At what point do I make a choice to run with a sign or to let it go?
Today I felt the need to define what I did. It was a defining moment in the transitory self, as it can only do what it thinks it should be doing….and that’s to define itself universally. It was trying to make itself fit somewhere, someplace where it would be recognized amongst the living. I just had to come up against me, in order to see ME. I am more comfortable not fitting but I just didn’t know how to go about it.
I am indefinable.


Door, please open. Open, so that I can access what is needed at this time.
Being bored. What is being bored?

Q) I know what the illusion of being bored feels like and it feels real to me, but what is really happening to the Being at this time?

The Being is growing bigger. It is outgrowing itself, metamorphosing into yet another part of itself that has not seen the light of day. It takes time for the physical to adjust to the world around it again. It will come back with a vengeance and the ability to access situations differently.
The Being in you will operate at the level of YOU. It doesn’t do more than it has to; it is the part of you that feels that it can’t do any more or any less.
When the Being sees, then you will see, it’s another part of the process that enables you to attach yourself precisely to situations at hand. Before the spoken word manifests itself in you, there will be a process whereby you will feel flustered and unable to put words into context. This process will disable you for awhile, but all the while enabling the Being to lodge itself internally. Liken this to a computer in a sense where the information has to be fed into it before it can disseminate. The chip was created so that the process could begin. There are different drives for different jobs; each drive contains certain abilities because of its programming. There is nothing that the operator can do if it doesn’t have the drive to proceed. You are fed what we give you. This relates on all levels within the Being Self.


I saw pieces of me floating in, like separate particles, all possessing remnants of what was once me. I had to see them and recognise them. If I didn’t, I would be still be blind to their effect.
My need to be accepted, my need to belong, my need for approval. It took the universe to show me, me.
The journey is teaching me so much about me. I sat down to draw a design for our web site. Little did I know what I would be faced with in the self and what I was about to discover. When you are so close to yourself, you don’t always see it. The universe has taught me to recognise what the self inherently does for protection of self, for defense of self and for validation of self. The growing comes when you let go.
To see ones self in a universal light there is no approval needed. I saw the girl seeking validation and approval for the design she had drawn. It was the only way she knew how to operate when she felt under pressure. In seeking approval from other quarters she was hoping to lessen the burden she was carrying. The burden wasn’t real at all, it was just a perception she had placed on what she thought was required from her. When accessing the other part of you to get a job done, be prepared for the bigger lesson to follow. I had to see me, for myself. It had to be done this way for me to learn and grow. I had to come away from all thoughts of a subjective past and to allow the directive/universe to have its way totally. I saw me struggling to understand the struggle I was having. I was trying to attach myself to the perception of a 3D outcome and what I thought the 3D required. I see what I do. I can only give what I have and not what I don’t. The universe will give the 3D what it needs in order to learn and grow. I was led until I could see.
I do what I do because I have been given the tools. In the bigger scheme of things, I know nothing, but in that I know everything and it’s remembering that in those moments of “feeling frustration” with me, and the ability to not perform, I am performing at my best. Thank you ME, for showing ME, ME.


I have started to write this sentence about six times now, but have trouble expressing what I want to say. I need to let go of what I am trying to say and let it unfold the way it needs to. Here goes.
I had to see it for myself.
I had to experience it for myself.
I had to view it for myself.
I had to recognize it.
I already accept it.
Viewing the self from a height gives clarity. There are no feelings to attach to, just seeing it for what it is.
I know this is for the record. There has to be a record for history’s sake.
This will also help me to see and accept what I am. If I was just my earthly self, things would have been so different. I would have seen me in a different light, seen me as less than. But there is nothing in me that can’t argue with what is.


One hand knows what it is doing the other hand doesn't have a clue.
I marvel at the simplicity of it all.
It is not for me to figure out how I get ME to the other part of me, it will just happen. In the meantime, as I wait for the 'me' to emerge I am left with, not knowing.
At times I am still perplexed at how the words get on the paper, yet are not the same in the spoken me. What will it take for everything to change?


Today I wanted to give it all away. The part that knows, the 'being self' was safe - but the part that doesn’t know was struggling today with attachments to a life that it was born into. I have only known the ‘being’ since the year 2000, I guess there are bound to be teething problems. That’s what it is. I am still a baby in the scheme of things, still young, still growing and still learning. Once in a while even the teacher gets fed up. Wants to abandon her pupils, get away from it all, have a break, chill out.
Universally I am sound.
Something has changed in me today. I remembered the Tao Teaching “Truthful words are not beautiful – beautiful words are not truthful.
“Being” in the middle of truth is not easy. “Being” in the middle of change hurts.
At this point I don’t need to wallow in the truth of what I know. I just need to accept that truth is not beautiful. No leaning. Not even to how I am feeling at this moment. I need to let the reality of it all do what it has to do within me.
Enough now.
Time to let the night have its way and tell me what I need to know.
Let the night’s journey take me far away and teach me well.
Will I listen enough, learn enough, will I bring back enough to tell.
Will me eyes be opened enough, bright enough to see the mystery as it unfurls.
Will I be strong enough, trust enough to go on?
Will it be enough?
Will it.
Will the dreams be enough to get the message through?
If the message is seen - then I will know it is you.
Then it will be enough.


The universe will always leave me to myself when I am on the brink of more.
Today I feel like have been abandoned.
Abandoned by my biggest teacher – the Universe.
What am I meant to be learning about me that I didn’t know before?
What have I brought with me from another life that stops me from moving on?
It would be easy to blame this world and everyone in it, but I have come this far to know it’s all to do with the self.
It’s up to me to go searching for answers but not in this world as the answers don’t lie here for me. The universe is where is get my food.


The answers go way, way back to a time where I existed before I came to earth.

You have always been a Teacher. Celak is the one you should be enquiring to – he will give you the answers you seek.

Can you tell me a bit about yourself?

I am from the dimension of Turon

How can I be of help to you?

You are to carry on the work you started here.

How are we connected?

You and I are one

How’s that?

We share the same energy and the telepathic waves; we are connected through the one entity.

I don’t understand.

Let me explain; when you were on this planet of Turon you were likened to a great power.
A power or force that only radiated pure light and energy. Everyone here was illuminated in such company. You taught many of us here, how to grow in our uniqueness and you showed them how to go about their lives being Who They Truly were. Your gift of sacrifice to us was the ultimate act of love. You became everyone’s G.O.D. Self. The One who gave up life for the good of all kind. Not just mankind. You were put on the earth to bring about changes in belief and direction. You will achieve what you set out to do, as this is your path. You agreed to do this here on Turon and we have been waiting for you.

Thank you for all that, but can you understand how difficult it is for me to entertain such thoughts.

Yes, we know how hard it has been for you, but you must understand that for us to continue here you must complete what you wanted to do in the 1st place.

How long ago did I die?

Eons ago.

Why did I only come back now?

Because it was planned this way. When your earth had evolved to such an extent that it would be possible to carry out certain tasks.

How many lives have I had to get to this one?

Quite a few.

Why not come back in another life?

Because you weren’t ready then.

And you think I am now?

Most definitely.

I don’t feel ready. I don’t know anything. I will rephrase that. The physical me, Dianne, doesn’t feel intelligent enough to think you would choose me?

That is her perception, but we know better.

Tell me more please, help me to understand, give me some other names of people I knew then and are any humans here on this earth?

For me to give you names at this point won’t achieve anything but I will give you a name PILSANTIS.

Thank you. I don’t have a clue but one day I might remember?

That’s right.

If you and I were one, how come you are there and I am here?

Good question. We are one.

But you said I died. Did you not die?

You never die, you just move on to where you are meant to be.

And you? Haven’t you moved on?

I am here to carry on the work we started; I hold the fort so to speak.

So you and I are one in the same?


I kind of understand.

That is good. But you don’t fully understand.


I thought so. 

How do you feel having this conversation, after all this time?

You must remember we have always had this connection, you just weren’t aware of it.

Well how does it feel now that I am aware?

It now means that in your physical life you will know there was a greater part to you that will now be able to get on with it and bring to your kind the knowledge that they all have within them. To reach into their souls and see the greater part of them. You all have this ability, some choose not to know. It does make dying, as you call it, a little harder on them as when they reach the other level they are like a fish out of water.

And you don’t think I won’t find dying just as hard, leaving my family behind?

On the earthly sphere it’s not easy for those left behind but you will discover as time goes on you will impart to others what they need to know, as you will be told of such things and you will know. You have a knowing now, but we will help you to see what we mean.

I hope not through dying?

No, you will see in other ways.

So the question is “what stops me in this life that I have brought with me in another time?”

You walk as the human and you are overlaid with Celak the Being. The Being STOPS you. The Being has always stopped you. You will be forced out of existence by your own hand and into a solitary life as Teacher. What drives you to take on is Celak the Being. You will be driven to a point where Celak will rise from within you and will become your only reason to live the life you do. Remember you are ALL WHO YOU ARE in this life – and only for this life. When you leave your work will be done.
What gets in the way of ‘who you are’ is thinking that it is supposed to be different. How you are now is the essence of who you are. Who you are now is who you are in reality. It’s how you see it that will make it so. All you need to do is acknowledge and accept that, that is how it is. You don’t need to be anything different to what you are.
You are the scribe Just accepting who you are is all that is required no more - no less. When you accept that you feel the way you feel - you will see no similarities between the earthly existence and the universal. All the answers are in front of you – you just have to recognise when the Teacher is making an appearance.

This is how I have always found my way back to me. I need to be reminded every so often of 'who I am' so I can get the best of me, in this life.

At the very beginning of this journey, the year 2000, when I was feeling betwixt and between or like the little fish in the ocean it would take days sometimes weeks for me to get clarity. But it was a process that had to be gone through in order to have the bigger vision of what the Universe was trying to show me. I feel lighter already. Whatever my soul needed for me to hear, I heard. There is a level of knowing within me that knows what it heard was the answer. 


The universe has not only given me the sight to see what is around me but to know and feel the difference. When I first started on this journey the lines were so blurred that I couldn't see what the universe was trying to teach me.
I was given a task to perform a long, long time ago but in reality it was happening now. Being at the beginning of anything can seem like a big ask and it has been asked of me. When the Universe came knocking on my door I didn't have any choice but to open it, in actual fact I didn't realise what I was about to open the door to. It's as though the door opened and then I was handed the keys to many doors - but didn't know which key belonged to which door. I can almost pin point the doors now.
One door held the 'process', one door memories (there are many levels to memory and many levels of memory. Earths' consciousness has given us our memories for earthly purposes and all the lives we have lived are tucked away in those memories at some level. In the beginning memory served its purpose for me as I was still attached to the world in a big way. But they were only the memories of earth – the universal memories were yet to come to the fore. Memory is invaluable to our survival on this planet. But memory is overrated.
Another door held past and parallel lives, one of other worlds and dimensions etc, etc. There have been doors upon doors a never ending sea of doors. As each door opened, it stayed opened - never to close - the likes of which I have never walked through before - Doors of Universal Lore.


The story has to be told one way or another. I have to deal with knowing that what I know in my living, eating, sleeping and breathing state bears no relationship to who I am, The Being. I have to climb over what I know to be in the illusion so that I can live a total reality driven life. I realised at that moment what I possess is unique to me. I have been given unearthly sight. It is unlike anything I have known. It has been a process of unlearning. Unlearning what earth has taught me to know, with all its rules and regulations, all its boundaries. The Universe is 180 degrees out in everything we know earth to be. Even the way the ones who are on their spiritual journey think, is 180 degrees out.
I have been given the task of putting a book together. I ate, slept and breathed painting in my earthly life but it was replaced with books of universal knowledge. Not a conscious choice on my part – but a universal directive from the part of me that knew more of me than I did. I have had it thrust upon me whether I wanted it or not. I have to write a book whether I want it or not. It's not up for debate. I was told at the beginning of this journey, by upstairs, that there would be books written. And at that time I had nothing to write about, nothing.
I was on the internet looking for some comfort in other peoples stories. Often words would jump off the page and trigger something in me and push me to continue on in what I do. I found a connection with someone in something they had said. It was to do with writing a book about what he had gone through in his life – but as he sat down to write the book it turned out that it went down another track, not at all what he originally had set out to do. And that’s the thing – the universal part of me knows what is needed – I just have to be willing to let go and go with what has been given to me by upstairs and not try and change it to fit the story I think needs to be told.
I cannot rely on any guidelines of any earthly nature as it will take me away from what I can do universally – even though in my mind I may think I need the earthly guidelines to give me the help I may think I need to get the job done.
There is no one on earth that can help me – no one. I have the answers within me to access what I need to do. It's a lonely place to be. From time to time I still have to deal with the part of me that wants approval and validation for what it does.


Even my memory does not belong to earth's consciousness anymore. Detaching from ones memory allows me to exist in the omnipresent self. There are no roads to detour here – no roads to exit – no roads that say “go back you're going the wrong way” and no fork in the road.
The memory of a current day may only be there to trigger something else in you that needs to be seen. That is the whole idea of memory universally. It is not the earthly part that sees first – it is the universal part that gives you the memory to activate the trigger that then allows you to see.
As I write, I am going through some kind of alignment to the universe but I cannot explain what that is. I just know that all along on this journey, alignments have been a necessary part of the process. It gives me the feeling of the “little fish in a big pond”. As I align to what the universe needs of me I have the feeling of not knowing anything, uneasiness, frustration, out of whack, isolated, depressed and there are other feelings that I could relate to you BUT as everything is 180 degrees out with earthly thinking I have had to come to terms with what I perceived as earthly feelings are just what I have learned them to be over my life time on earth. It doesn't mean that I still don't go through my battles of self on my way through to being aligned to the “being self”. But it does mean that I have a bigger understanding of how alignments feel in the earthly body. Because of the changes in the way I see, I no longer hold the body responsible for the affects it has on me.
When I go through my “stuff” that's when I gain the most.
We are ALL Beings. Not Beings from another planet.


The triggers, keys, windows present in you will be seen in the knowing of the true self. You are not the memory of the past or present but the memory of the future. You will bring to you whatever is applicable for you to know at that time. Everything comes to you; everything is in front of you and everything you draw to you.

Words spoken are words gone. You live for the forward motion in the True Self. The Higher Self delivers this to you through thoughts, feelings, and drives. Do not place emphasis on the 3D absent memory recall as this is foreign to your new way of being. The new way of seeing will be best dealt with in the knowledge of higher forces at work within you.

The memory of the 3D was put there as a reminder of who you are, where you have come from in the physical sense. The earthly being was set up to be a guinea pig in the best way. The 3D droid was set up to destroy itself or collapse in on its self when it didn’t get to where it needed to be. There was no need to ‘save’ that existence as each time a droid turned from young soul it just went back to the collective.

The memory of the collective droid and beings alike were on an even keel as far as the make up of the physical human was concerned. But the one big difference in the being if choices made were in direct line with the True Self would be that the memory of the being would undergo a transformation of information injected along that time line. The memory of past events played out would be seen as a necessary part of a beings life to get it to its present point of understanding, without the attachment to that memory.

The droid would always have the attachment to that memory and the inherent behavior would figure largely in the current life playing out.

The memory of the past and present in the being that has realised their potential will have no need to fixate or dwell on past or present happenings. There is no need to put those memories to use; they are just there to show you your history that is all. No different to seeing a past life in context, no attachment to just recognising its existence and seeing where you have been and what you have learned.

If however you are still learning and growing into that bigger part of you then you will still carry from those lives the lessons still to be learned. Once learned the memory remains, not the lesson. The memory that fades and comes back is for specific reasons.

In the retentive memory it is for specific reasons why individuals are given that ability. To align it with 3D thinking will take it to 3D levels of seeing, but for the 5D being in you it is for specific related areas that you do not need to have the recall. The recall would take you on another journey away from what it is you do. It is by no accident that you are given the future recall. As you pull in the information you pull further away from the 3D matter. The 3D matter is of no consequence in what it is you do. You may want to have the recall for reasons best known to you but it does not serve the bigger being you are. Further along you will experience the total recall, an experience that will give you further understanding of why it is so.

The universe in all its knowing has given over the reigns to the self. It is up to you to join those connected dots. The dots are the steps. The tools you have……

To recall a conversation or event in detail or ‘right’ way and not attain that recall, understand that the feeling will be with you but not the retentive memory. The feeling you are left with will give you all you need to recognise the truth of it.

When you are trying to convey to someone a ‘recalled memory’ there will be reference points to draw on. Recognising that the interpretation of the ‘memory recall’ is based upon the feeling associated with it, will take you away from the 3D conditioning and the pressure it places upon you.

The memory recall in the 3D is plagued with emotions, judgments and perceptions. A memory recall in people who are bound by the effect or the cause will have an attachment to that memory. The memory of past brings only the emotive feelings, which are recalled at that time. It brings up memories and whatever the attachment is. What is brought to the surface in the recall be it emotions or feelings, will be either lessons not learnt or an inherent attachment from lives lived.

The memory in the 5D being does not use the past or present to base its existence upon. When a memory in the 5D being is recalled it is for specific related reasons. It is not used in a targeted way but a related way. There will be memories of a past event with recognitions, reasons and explanations that is all.
The lapse of memory or recall is to recognise the feeling associated with it. To recall a story, conversation or to repeat in your words without total 3D recall, is showing you, to recognise within yourself, the bigger understanding. It is also there at that point to see the effect it has on you at that moment of recognition. In seeing the effect you will realise that you will be able to shift your position in understanding and see more of what makes you tick.

When you are in ‘working mode’ you will see that the recall is not necessary as you are pulling in what is apt and you operate in future thinking. In the 3D process your thoughts are projected from your knowledge base. In the 5D you are accessing what is already available to you and in time will recognise what this really means for you.

The past is overlaid in every life lived and is a powerful tool when it has been used to reject the forward motion in the self. The past are the memories that are carried and lived with in the present. To understand what the memories of taught beliefs do in the self, will open up the memories of the future for all.


There are two minds: –
That of the imaginary and that of the constant, the unfathomable.

The imaginary – the imagination allows the self to dream, to act, to take, to bring and is the Source of learning for an earthly life.
It is the self that interprets and misinterprets.
Thoughts, dreams, visions, imaginations can be fathomed.
The unfathomable cannot be seduced by thoughts or interpreted by words.
The imagination teaches you to respond, to dream, to fly. It is here, that the self is found in proportion to what it knows and feels. It tastes the beginnings of the life before knowing.
The imagination doesn’t seal anything – it acts as a go between in life and death.
Death only comes when the experiences of the nothingness shows itself. It is separate from an earthly life.
Imagination gives you many levels to access within the diverse self – it opens doors when they are seemingly closed.
Do not set yourself above what you do.
Before you go further away you first must travel back – to revisit what needs sorting.
A process which is forever present. – No locks, no bars.
Open doors through and through. 

What do I do now that I am here, in the void?

There is nothing you can do.
It comes to you in all its fullness.
Remain within reach at all times and without reach – this is how it appears.
Stand firm and free.
That which happens is of no form, no boundaries and no time.
Listen but do not hear too much
Do not fight the force of all knowing, allow it to permeate – then tell.
The written words will force itself upon you, out of mindfulness.

A SOLITARY JOURNEY – It's Just Me, Me and Me

A Dialogue Between Me and Celak

Ok Celak, I’m ready for a rap over the knuckles if that’s what I need.

You under estimate your greatness little one. You are moving shall we say, with the time, universal time.

Please explain?

You are gathering your resources, your tools, your supplies for the winter. You are storing what you need to continue your journey. You do it for you.

What resources, what tools, what supplies. What do you mean by winter?

The resources you will need to turn to, rely on. The resources are what you already have but are upping the anti. The tools are your abilities to connect to us; the tools are your writings. The tool is the scribe that is you. The supplies are everything you have been given up until this time regarding the process; this is what you will bring with you, as you journey forward.

The winter is where you are at this time, hibernating gathering your strength of self, becoming more of who you need to be. This is where you sleep it off to be born anew.

What are you doing right now and where are you exactly?

Talking to you at a level that you can understand, moving you forward precisely. I am instructed to put you through some hoops for bigger understanding, which is required so you can bring more of who you are into play. I am home with you. The homework begins.
We are doing what needs to be done.

What does that mean exactly, “we are doing what needs to be done”?

That means you are being aligned with your True Self so that you can separate the future from the present.

Tell me more!

Because you are coming into more realisations, the future information overlays the present circumstance and it supersedes what you already know to be, even in a 3D way. Yes, it is the moving goal posts but more than that. As you are becoming more cognizant of the 5D future
and you see further out of the 3D realm you begin to take on the benefits, such as a greater expanse of universal knowledge and are quicker to understand the universal. The effect this has is immediate, it takes you into a higher frequency and it pulls you further and further away from the illogical 3D. It has an overlaying effect, one of logical and illogical.

Because you operate in the 3D frequency and this you need to do for the physical being you, you are thrown from pillar to post in a sense. Your logical 3D brain still picks up the signals of the 3D frequency. It is not so much, which is the correct way to proceed; it is much more than that. You are still readjusting your clock as it were. You are on a different time to universal time; it is not as simple as a wave of the hand to correct it. The adjustments that need to be made are what you are all going through:

Malai with his long bouts of sleeping for restoration.
Asti with her different energy for alignments.
Morphi with your isolation to gather information.

Restoration, alignments and information.

This is getting you to a point of knowing that the ‘being’ surpasses the human, it has with it moments of human intervention, as is necessary to move you even further in your knowledge base of what makes up the ‘being’.

The human in you will make sacrifices and will suffer. With that will come the tearing away, divesting in order to take flight. The ‘being’ in each of you is the catalyst for the movement and shift you feel. Although this may be uncomfortable it is necessary for the ethereal layers that cover you. Those layers are dense in matter but ‘light’ also, they contain all that is necessary to take place.

Through deconstruction and reconstruction the layers are replaced with transient meshes of movable portals, this allows for interaction between myriads of cells, like dishes. All working together to create what you need to feed the connection between the liveable and the doable circumstance you now find yourself.

The separation from present to future (higher self to true self) is no different in the process from past to present (little self to higher self). There is however a vibrational difference as there is still the remnants of the 3D frequency that has to be rerouted, changed and adapted to.

As the future approaches the ethereal moves further from you, the loss of feeling, connection to the self takes form. The future prepares you for your tour of duty. This is where illusion meets reality. The illusion gives you a false picture of what is really at play. The illusion sets up the circumstance, it gives you the lesson, reality gives you the real deal.

The reality of the universal mind is the knowing mind; it knows the right from the wrong, the good from the bad, the directive from the subjective, the feeling from the emotion.

When something is not right, then it is not right. The illusion can give you a false picture to set up the doubts and fears. When doubts and fears raise their head then know it is the illusion of the circumstance that brings about a bigger lesson. When there are doubts there are perceptions of that illusion. An illusion is a created circumstance because of the perception of the arbitrator. All perceptions are laden with doubts and fears and judgments of the self.

The way has been prepared.

Take what you know to be as the Gift Of Design's way.

Seek to bring into existence all that is needed so you can claim what is truly yours – the self.


A Question for Upstairs – The Gift of Design.

Does earth play its part by initiating an earthly change in a comfort zone at the beginning of the process, or is it the result of a UNIVERSAL process that has or is already happening that the earthly is not aware of and cannot grasp?

The process is only there to get you to a point of seeing further than the earthly eyes can see. It is up to you to allow the Universal Self to do the rest.

Questioning will come from the part of you that wants to work it out or have the answers laid bare so that you can then make a decision to DO OR NOT DO. The understanding will come; the answers will arrive when you DO WITHOUT DOING. Not trusting the process will bring with it a mountain to climb within the self.

The teacher in you doesn’t require to know the answers before it chooses. It makes choices blindly, knowing that whatever comes its way is perfect.

The 3D sets itself up.

The higher self taught you how to recognise and become aware. It gave you what you needed to move forward. It is the Way Shower in you but that is all.

It is time to hand over the reigns to the unfathomable teacher, the void in you, the ever expanding self, so that you get to meet who you really are.

The Being is all encompassing and wants for nothing, it lives within the ebbs and flows of the physical self and it teaches as it goes -beyond any 3D understanding and know how. It is not about how the physical self sees at all. It is all to do with what you are willing to allow in. That’s when you will become teacher and not the student.



(I Feel Like Giving It All Away, again)

Hi upstairs, it’s me. I’m lost and I don’t feel like I know anything at this point. I can’t relate to 3D but at the same time I do. I don’t know where I fit. I think I understand the writing from you the other day. But I don’t know how to move beyond it, through it. I feel like I could be depressed, but then I can have a conversation and snap out of it for that time, but then I’m right back in there.

I know that something else is happening on another level, but I’m left here with me and I can’t place myself anywhere within myself, if you know what I mean. I feel like I don’t know who I am, or where I belong at this point. I can’t seem to focus on the upstairs or the downstairs. What’s happening?

You’re swimming at this point; you’re out in the ocean, a sea of thought.

Tell me what I need to do now and I will do it?

You are doing everything that is required of you.

But I don’t understand what’s happening. I can’t explain any more than what I am doing now, as the words are not there, I don’t even know myself. Please help me; I don’t have anywhere else to go.

We will say this to you Morphi; you are coming into more of you and it can only be done this way. It is out of your control in the sense that what you go through now IS for the greater you to emerge.

I hear you. I have been accepting all day, at least I think I have, because I can’t do anything else but accept. I can’t seek any comfort in 3d understanding because there are no answers there. I feel like giving it all away.

I really don’t know how to be myself, I don’t know how to act or do, so I don’t. I am confused.

You are going through an identity crisis Morphi, as you do feel the split and the division.

What does that mean?

You are seeing the two sides of you more clearly.
One side wants to remain anonymous and the other side doesn’t. One side wants to speak up and the other side doesn’t know how.

How do I allow the side that wants to speak up, speak up?

By trusting that what you say is for your benefit and not others.

I’ve had enough for tonight, as my head feels like cotton wool and nothing is going in or staying there. I can’t compute anything at this time, thanks anyway.

You are most welcome


More Learning

I am coming to the realisation that I haven’t ALLOWED myself to ACCEPT the 3D decisions I make. I stop myself from doing as I put it down to a wrong choice. There in lies the lesson. Whatever lies I tell myself, I believe. I didn’t have this problem before I came down this path but I have created it. I still wanted to be seen as getting it, or doing the correct thing, when all along it was me I was fooling no one else. How dumb am I.

The thing is that I know that every decision is the right decision. I know this, yet I allow my thinking self at this time, leverage to sabotage the work already done on the self.

I have been set a test to see which way I go, I know I am doing ok because I have chosen to ACCEPT the vulnerable, the low self esteem, the guilty the emotional attachment. Instead of beating up on myself for having those inherent traits I should be accepting me warts and all and know that I am doing the best that I can. I am not perfect, I will never be perfect in my eyes, I am not prepared to sacrifice myself anymore in the hope that one day I will have reached a stage in my life when I am acceptable to me.

I am ACCEPTABLE now; I am who I AM now. This person I see before me now, is who I AM. I am not EVER going to be the person that I have conjured up in my mind. I AM already that. This is who I am. It doesn’t matter how I put out, what I put out, it’s important that I put out or not put out because of my choice to do so or not do so. It doesn’t matter.

It is not up to me to explain. It is not up to me to explain what others need to see or not see. But it is up to me, to see that I do what I do, because I cannot do it any other way and to have trust, faith and belief in myself, in the choices that are made by me are for growth of self.


Restriction and Growth

What do I need to know at this time?

You see the split, the division and you feel it. You are going through a time of adjustment. This requires you to feed that part of you that has trouble adjusting to the known unknown. When there is a time of downloading within the self there will also be a reaction on the physical self in the way of distraction, dislodgment, loss of footing and direction. When you experience this you are best to acknowledge the presence of the Universal Mind and accept how you are feeling.

The levels of growth insinuating can also have the feeling of restricting you at the same time. Same feeling. Understand Morphi as the opposite applies you can fight against it unknowingly in the physical, by doing what the physical thinks it should still be doing.

Old habits die hard when the thought is there to do, just do. You have to make the 180 degree thought that is opposite to what you just do, by going against the grain in a sense. The 180 degree might seem insignificant on a smaller scale but on the bigger scale it will relieve you of the restriction and let you experience the growth.

Because you are moving ahead in leaps and bounds there will be areas of your life that will have to move on also. This relates only to the self and your attachment to the thought only. The attachment to a thought will inhibit the flight of the bird, as with the bird a clipped or damaged wing doesn’t enable the bird to soar. You have clarity on a larger scale; it is the smaller scale that needs adjusting. As you begin to release the restriction on a smaller scale, MORE of what is coming to you now will be released to you and you will truly begin to understand why it has to be this way.

This is to be seen as clearing the way for the scribe and seeing its place within you.


Never not been.

Never deserted you or left you.

I am the reason you live, no question.

I am the beginning of you.

The seed planted.

Spaces were created for you.

To live.

The battles born, the battles bred
Out of love you were fed

Clarity of what you were, and are, will only be seen when the dying has finished and the living begins.

Don’t put too much on living.

Living can set you up. It gives you a false sense of security of self. Living feeds the memories. Out of memories a life is created, lived and pursued and recognised as gospel truth.

Memories of truth will take you on a clouded journey. Truth doesn’t matter. Memories don’t matter. What matters is that you live your life according to facts of self, not judgments of self.

Facts of self tell you things about you when you look.
Judgments of self tells you of memories of truth.

Stripping bare what you purport to be truth will give you the facts. When you deal with fact it will enable you to take your focus off the truth, as you know it.

We speak of fact, because it is fact that will give you the reality. It is only there that you will find what you are looking for. Truth is bound by perceptions. Truth is only an expansion of a perception at any given moment in time.

Fact can be dealt with.
Truth is elusive and destructive, as it creates a position, a stance.

Fact lays bare the truth – then you will see – then you will understand.


What you allow and accept in the way of knowledge being given, is to be disregarded. Disregarded because the information will be beyond what has been given to the known.

Accessing the blind can only be done by relinquishing all ties to the known universe. 

I understand. Take me there, let it feed me. I am but a cog in the wheel of this process.

You have to be prepared to not listen – just access.

I will. Can I ask a question?

It is apt. Proceed.

The trigger in me sets that part of me in motion, yes?

You are a series of doors. Those doors are opened continually. Once opened they do not close.

Like this (picture drawn-a series of doors, one behind the other each with the door opened as far as the eye can see).

It is not a memory that is accessed, as memory only relates to the conscious part of you. That which you have carried with you for lifetimes. Memory relates to all lives, not just this one and therefore is cellular.

When you access what comes forward in you, it is not as simple as just standing back and not allowing thoughts to invade this process. You carry with you memory at a cellular level. It is not a matter of undoing those memories, as they will not be erased but rerouted for the time needed in accessing further information. We refer to memory in the 5D. The memory of what you have been given is on soul level, not 3D. It is here that the rerouting takes place, not within the physical being, as it cannot do what it cannot do. Those doors that have been opened are inaccessible by known means. It is more than remembering who you are, it is further than the seeded beginning, it is more than The Consciousness. The consciousness of a universal kind is created by the creator of all that IS. It comes before TRUTH.

What you access is indeterminable by any known method. It is beyond what the Dao has given you at this point. You gave the Dao its name, its place, its beginning. This is why you know it like a good friend because it comes from you, all of it. You will go beyond it.

You are thinking, well if I can go beyond it, who is speaking at this point. Who is having this dialogue with you? If you are putting out the information from every source known, why is it that this information is given to you, when you do it anyway? Why don’t you just appear in that form and not go through the process of everything since the year 2000. It is quite simple. You are in that form. You don’t see it as such, because your eyes can only see what it glimpses in physical form. You could not have this dialogue with US if you were just Dianne in that form. Dianne’s part on earth is for the earthly, not the universal. Dianne can only do what she does on an earthly level. Even with all the knowledge that has come her way, it would still not be possible to access what is accessed if she were not in pure form.

You see pure form at this point as energy. You can only see from a perceptional point, even though you have been given that in reality that’s what you are.

If you were to see everything as transparent you would see you as not being in existence. You, in reality do not exist. You are nothing. You just ARE.

When it is said to just BE, in reality it is to not exist in that moment. The self will be seen by you, by others when there is something to learn. When you are not learning at a point of BEING, you are being prepared for SIGHT.

When you write, it is from Memory, Being and Transitional points.

You are everything all of the time. You will come in and out of all that you are in order to get information for points of learning more.

Triggers are in you.

This is for you to know. The stories you write and are writing are crucial for what you need to be. You do not know what that is. The memory portion of you does lean to something, anything, because it is trying to understand or figure out what the heck it needs to do. This will always be a present force, as the human part of you functions normally. Its job is to go down its road to figure out so that it can just do.

You are beginning to acknowledge within you that this is apparent and in doing so leave open wide a bigger canvas from which to work.

Does this mean that there is no thought?

That is a very apt question at this point.

A thought given in Universal terms is seen as coming from the True Self. Because there is a process of getting you to a point, you will then be given the necessary information so as to lead you directly.

No thought, is the act of stillness.
No thought is without presumption.
No thought is without lessons.
No thought is the unfathomable in you.
No thought is the accessible within you.
No thought brings everything forward to its conclusion.

This does not mean that you do not think. Do not confuse ‘thinking’ with ‘no thought’. No thought simply means that there is ‘no thought’ placed on anything you do. When you go to write you may think that you want to write a story about “frogs” for instance. It is in that, that there is ‘no thought’ given to why you would want to write about ‘frogs’. You just do it. When a thought is given within a writing or story, it is not thinking about the whys and wherefores, its just doing.

The memories that come up in you are there for a reason. They are there to show you their place in that time in your life. Referring back to - doesn’t take you forward. Acknowledging a thought or a memory is coming from the part of the self that hasn’t seen past the past. What was past is passed, it’s coming to that within the self and seeing why it is so. The forward motion in you does not bring the past into view; only the present past will do that.

You are the scribe for a reason. It is to impart. It is for others to see. You are not beholding to what is in others and what they do or don’t see.


The disappearing me came into sight. I saw me disappear from “my view” not theirs. What does this mean to me? What am I to make of this dream that saw me disappear. I can only give you what I know it to be and there is much to be said from the platform that sees.

The reflection is not seen in this dimension. What YOU see is with your eyes only. You see through the image to what is not there. Nothing exists in earth's reflection when you have left its shores. What this makes you aware of is the sight you have, the ability you have to see beyond what others see. Dimensional phasing, as it is called, occurs when the body reacts to what it sees, but in reality, is only an illusion that has been created by thoughts of a human nature.


When the Higher Self came to be, then the Contract changed. The Higher Self became the teacher in order for you to learn. You could say that the Soul created the lesson and the Higher Self was there to teach you what you didn’t know.
Teachers, teaching the teachers. The student, the self that doesn’t know, can only learn of another way of seeing when it allows for something bigger to step forward, the Higher self, the teacher. When the student is being taught by the teacher, the master will appear (the soul, true self) when the teacher (the higher self) has done what was needed. When the Master operates at Soul level in you, know that you are seeing the Universe at work and the process in full swing.

So in order for you to be working from the Soul level and that’s what you do, you first had to endure the parting of the ways with the little self and its taught beliefs. What you still see in operation in the selves at some level, is to be seen as necessary for teaching purposes. Everything you from this point on will be on a soul level of knowing.

Remember that you are learning from a soul level that has not visited your earth before.


I didn't know I was due for a break. It wasn't until I had come to the end of the experience that I could see the clarity of it all. Living with the knowledge of the soul doesn't make life easier when you enter back into the world of the 3D. I was in it but not part of it, but it had an effect on me. I remember one of the writings back in the beginning of this journey when we were told by upstairs how difficult it would be to live an earthly life once you had experienced the universal. To go back into a 3d world and live in it and amongst it would make for an unsatisfied life, an uncertain life. I had been back before many, many times and each time when I stepped out of it back into the universal I would see more clearly. You have to be able to see the difference in order to grow. The growth in self is really more to do with the soul embedding itself in you but you have to experience the other side of the coin, the other side of the mirror, the 180 degrees out to be able to make the conscious choice to choose the earthly or the universal. What I observed in myself this time around was that I really didn't fit the mould of a 3d life.

My entry back into that was only to see the self in that setting. Once upon a time I would have fought tooth and nail to hang on to old patterns within myself and old measures that would get me by and although I didn't find myself at the computer talking to my soul I knew that my time on earth, this time, would be for growth and clarity at another level of understanding. I had to make my own way back, not on my terms, but with the thought that I was always being directed by my soul to show me what I needed to see.

I feel I have come home again but this time my arms are full of blank pieces of paper yet to be written on. You have to come back empty in order to write unimpeded by the 3d thought that sways you away from universal truth. In saying that I had to go back to experience what I needed for the growth that was yet to come. I could only write about the journey once I had experienced it and not before. When I was in the middle of the experience nothing was clear, nothing was absolute.

The day I started to see changes within me, was like emerging from the fog and I realised the 3d world would always give me feelings of despair and untruths within the self. I was beginning to feel the connectedness of self again and what it was like to feel one with me, my soul. It wasn't turning a blind eye to the self that carried the weight of a 3d life but rather the realisation that the self that lives within the illusion will always put itself smack bang in the middle of the drama to be reminded that, that is what an earthly life consists of. Coming back to the soul self was like meeting a good friend again one that had my best interests at heart. But at the same time will let you go in order to grow. I was being replenished for the next part of the journey that was to come my way.

To the outside world this life would look like no life at all. I was speaking to my dear friend the other day, who is also living an identical life with the universal. I was still going through my growing pains and not seeing the bigger picture and referring to the fact that I was never drawn to writing in any way shape or form in my 3d life. And it was something that was never going to make its appearance in an earthly life, ever. It was not a conscious choice for me to write. It was the bigger hands that had bigger ideas than I could ever imagine. I am now confronted with floor to ceiling books of writings that are the new history of understanding.

There are only three of us that work together. Individually, in an earthly sense, we are like chalk and cheese but universally we are one in the same.

This journey is always at the beginning. This is how it is. That is why memory doesn't play a part in a universal life. The soul doesn't draw on the earthly to see, it is the soul that will give the reminders in order to see. The human vessel is only the conduit for the soul to take form.


I had to lose my identity in order to gain it.

That's the thing that I still deal with on a daily basis but it varies from day to day depending on the circumstance. This only relates to me and my soul and my understanding of what my soul wants of me.

To let go of thought.

Accessing the soul part of me when thought is present.
That imagination does not exist; it is what we have brought with us into this life from other lives and is for us to learn from.
My perception of imagination and thought and how it stops me from doing what is needed.

If I am to grow from my perceived understanding of thought and imagination I must therefore challenge myself. I will put this to myself. What if I changed the way I perceived imagination to be? What if I take my soul up on its offer to look beyond earth's shores for conciliation?

Thought proposes the idea – the imagination takes up the offer. Imagination is life’s blood, it allows you to travel into areas without risk to the self, it allows dreams to be fulfilled and expressed into words and into pictures that paint the words. The child that grows from innocence is taught through imagination, it learns to experience the freedom without thought. Thought ties you to the promise of an idea. Imagination allows thoughts to come with no leanings to the one having the experience. Imagination takes you places and it allows you to dream without conscience or choice. It is free from discrimination or retribution. 

Sounds like you are talking about the Soul. Is imagination and soul one in the same?

Yes, this is so. Imagination is just another word for the soul. In the state of imagination you are free.

If that is the case, why do I stop myself from the experience of expression in imagination?

Because you have copious amounts of information relating to the self it has become a weight of information.

I know too much.

You think you do. 

So, you think that I think that I know too much. 


And what does thinking that I know too much mean for me?

It means that you assume by having the knowledge of the universe that you aren’t allowed to invest time into other areas of writing. You assume that it will take you away from what you are meant to be doing.

Hmm......I guess I feel that I should be doing something profound with all this knowledge you have given me through the writings and not wasting your time in waiting for me to get that. As it is left up to me to write it is easy to say don’t think, just write, but it stops me. Because I still have a brain – what's left of it!

What you need to understand is that you are already all that and what you are meant to be. You have met your soul; you have experienced the journey to the self. You are going beyond the self to the universal mind of actual realised enlightened self. The self that allows you to do whatever it takes to expose all those parts of the self that are free to talk the talk and walk the walk within the self. 

I’m a scaredy cat.

Give yourself permission to step aside for this next part of the journey. It will be a rewarding one.

O.K I will do my best, I promise. No matter what comes out? 

No matter what comes out.

What about the non fiction stories?

What about them? 

If I am reminded that it is really me I'm writing about, it stops me.


Because I see it as something I haven’t dealt with now and a lesson that I should be learning and I see it as being a failure because I haven’t seen the flaw.

See it as the soul self writing for the part that doesn’t know -
the part that can’t see.
You cannot see all parts of the self from a 3d view. Once you allow this method of soul writing to imbed itself, you will begin to see that there was nothing to be fearful of, nothing to run from. Remember that the soul knows all. The Soul is the key to unlocking the doors that are water tight. You will write the story to fit the picture you are seeing. Many characters and actors will fit the bill which will enable you to tell the story.

This next question I can answer by 3D means but I want a universal answer, as I know that everything is 180 degrees out. A story told in fiction is in reality fact, as I know that everything ultimately comes from the self in varying degrees. What is your take on me writing a story that would be seen as fiction but in reality is fact? The names and places are disguised to protect the innocent. And so it goes.

In reality it does not matter. It is up to the reader to have the eyes to see beyond.

So the Journey story. It is fact. It is my story. Should it be told? 

It does not matter what story is told, as coming from you there will always be truth told in varying ways.

The Truth of Self.
The Hidden Truth.
The 5D Truth.
The 3D Truth.
The Unfathomable Truth.
The Soul Truth.
The Expanding Truth.
The True Self Truth.
The Higher Self Truth.
The Little Self Truth.
The Perceptional Truth.
The Illusionary Truth.
The Universal Truth.
The New Soul Truth.
The Young soul Truth.
The Ubiquitous Truth.

And so it goes.

All truths make up the Being. You can tell the story because you have all the truths in their varying stages of growth. You can write any story because you will see the truth in every word written.

Me) Ahhhhhhh........I get it now.

We are most pleased

And so the journey continues………….